we're just kids.

Two weeks from now I will be starting school again.
Ten days from now I will be saying goodbye to Claudia.
Twenty four hours from now I will be here holding this same pose.
Ten hours from now I will be at the high school; officially getting my schedule and pictures.
Nine hours from now I will be on the bus into town, yay?
Eight hours from now I will be wiping the sleep from my eyes.
Three hours from now I will be dreaming.
One hour from now I will be sleeping.
Right now I am living my life.
Right now am I living my life?

pre

this is what I'm expecting of this upcoming year:
-frequent visits to UCSC to visit my sisters. (emilie and margaux)
-lots of stress due to the insanity of my schedule
-concerts
-downfall of my social life (due to lack of Claudia's driving me around)
-lack of happiness at home (due to Claudia leaving)
-new music
-more nights out
-less money
-a job...?(god, now is the time to intervene)

Start of Something

It is August 8th, 2008 and I am lying in my bed underneath all my covers being a fat American. 

This summer is going wonderfully. JSA Stanford was the best thing I have ever done with my life. I have made numerous un-breakable friendships that I plan on keeping, I have learned more information than I thought I would be able to retain in a one month period, and I have learned a little more about myself.

Yesterday I went to bike night for the first time and it was amazing! I loved it, and it was nice to have the old group back together again. This past week and upcoming weeks are all about re-connecting with friends I missed while I was at Stanford. I'm looking forward to some good days in the next few weeks. Sadly, Claudia's leaving for BC on the sixteenth, and that will not be a good day. Everything is wonderful right now! If only I could get a long with my mom better, hah, it's not too good lately.

IT'S SUMMER!

AND EVERYTHING IS GOOD!
HAVE A GREAT SUMMER EVERYONE!
LOVE LAURA

question:

Everyone is talking about how right now is the "best they've been all year", or they haven't been happier in such a long time!
Do I feel weird that I do not feel the same way?
Yes.
Are things really bad right now?
No, but I'm not super happy, but I want to be! How are you all so happy?

Hopefully things will look up once 24 Hour Relay rolls by.

one more time

everything is happening so fast and it's beautiful but mind blowing at the same time.
i'm enjoying the weather so much. Everything is beautiful right now.
People are really good lately.
I do miss quite a few of you though.
It filled part of my heart to get to see Emilie again. I have missed her so much lately.
Sometimes I have these emotional bursts and I really don't like it. I'll just be sad and it won't be good. Not too often though so it's good.
I like happiness though it's so beautiful there.

HAPPY SPRING BREAK

getting nowhere.

i don't really think i'm going to blog anymore.
i don't feel like sharing my thoughts anymore.

purple paint.

Finals are coming up so soon. For some reason I thought they were a week later than they actually are. So, I'm definitely stressing over finals and whatnot. On top of that I have that painting research paper and this ridiculous but hopefully simple compare/contrast essay. For painting we had to pick an art movement and an artist. I picked abstract expressionism and Kandinsky. I have to write a research report on both of those and paint a painting in the abstract expressionism style! I'm not as worried about the research report as I probably should be. I'm actually more nervous and worried about the painting. We have to present it to the class on finals day. I guess I'm worried because abstract expressionism isn't from a photo or anything, it is your emotions on canvas. I'm afraid to make myself so vulnerable. Last time I made myself vulnerable I got hurt, and I don't want to do that again. Different situation though. I did a few practice paintings in class today. I love painting though. I'm so excited to get started. I just hope it turns out alright and doesn't look like a kindergarten kid did it. Spring fling is coming up. whoopee. haha, uhm no, idk. I think I'm going to go. I hope it's better than winter formal. I don't know, we'll see. The sunshine feels so amazing. I love the rain, but it's nice to feel so warm.
Well, off to compare and contrast.



contrast and compare between the busy ones
and the ones that don’t care
until there is no one that you really know
so i drift through these days of appointments and promises made
they will all end up broken and quickly replaced.
weeks are slow, days drag on;
even practice and parties seem long
but i found myself going
i guess there’s nothing to do
oh well
group of kids, line of cars,
more will show up after the bars close
there’s this boredom that drowns everything.
bottles break, music plays, conversations competing for space
i look for a corner or a quieter room
there’s no heat in this house
i can’t breath with these words in my mouth
but i’m not going to say them
yeah, i’ve made that mistake before
on the stairs, she grabs my arm, says whats up,
where you been, is something wrong?
i try to just smile, and say everything’s fine.

remember.

home is when I'm by your side.

right now

is definitely one of those times when I have no idea what is going on inside my head.
Please paint a picture of it for me.

solid time.

got back from junior statesmen today.
It was really fun, and I am super glad that I went.
Basically everything was just really good, and if you want to know more about it you should ask me because I don't feel like blogging about it.
But yeah, esz good esz good.

i hope nothing brings me down.

because,
everything is so good right now.
everything is new.
and i really love green onions.

awesome.

last night was awesome.
everything about it was really amazing.
all day yesterday too.
alison and I agree that things that could have gone wrong turned out really well and everything worked out.
Everyone who was part of my night last night: thank you!

ps. encased in glass box. (dreams fulfilled)
(condiment conversations)

deap breaths. let out

huge weight lifted (half of the weight)

together

Main Entry: dis·tress ( –noun)

1.	great pain, anxiety, or sorrow; acute physical or mental suffering; affliction; trouble.

2.	a state of extreme necessity or misfortune.

Main Entry:	eustress
Part of Speech:	n
Definition:	stress that is deemed healthful or giving one the feeling of fulfillment
Etymology:	from Greek eu 'well, good' + stress, modeled on distress

p.s.

/

i am learning who i am.

MYchigan

There are fifty mile per hour winds right now. We drove down to the lake shore. Claudia, my dad, and I all got out and ran to the edge. My hat was falling, I was struggling to hold it. I fell to my knees in the snow. It was deep. We struggled to stay standing to the wind. Your throat became dry in a matter of seconds. You quickly began to lose feeling in your feet and face. The waves piled on top and slowly molded into the shore. The sky was dark and beautiful. The wind picked up snow and you were smacked across the face.
Exhiliration.
Emancipation.
Numb ness. (hah)

that was from michigan. ^

I miss it already.
It was beautiful, uplifting, and amazing.
snowboarding was amazing.
there is so much to say.


i cant wait to see balex and balison. and lily! she lives close! yayy sneak visits.