did you act out as a child?

were you always crying wolf? Attention-starved, you tried too hard to get someone to look. Now you're the wolf in second hand clothing. im the sheep in a pleated skirt. it's an awkward form of payback but if it works for you it works. Its that i recognize your off-white lies but still i lie beside you -and thats what really hurts. When you said you'd leave me. why havent you left me? what are we still doing here? so desperate for company. There’s a greyhound on Jackson Street, there’s an airport in Council Bluffs…hell, there’s a car in the driveway – fifty ways to get lost.
...
When I said I loved you, it was because I loved you. When I said I needed you, well, I really need you. Yeah, I guess you hurt me, for once you’re a man of your words. Well, guess what – I’m leaving – I can’t be your prisoner.

I won’t.


Sunday I woke up at seven in the morning to get ready for a long day. Nate picked me up at 8 and then we got sydney. We had an interesting two hour car drive. A lot of shifting for comfortability. hah, it kinda worked out in the end. We got to Big Sur after a twisty drive up a dangerous road. We went on an amazing walk/hike through the forest to the river. The river was crystal and beautiful. There were huge rocks everywhere, so we climbed the rocks through the river. It was really nice to have a change in scenery, especially such a beautiful one. We had a really good time. Sydney.. haha fell in the river (which was HILARIOUS!), and nate was laughing at her and making fun of her and then two seconds later he completely fell in. :). it was really cute, haha, i was the only one who stayed somewhat dry. The walk was so beautiful. Even though the air isn't really dirty here, it felt so much cleaner and fresher in Big Sur. I really enjoyed it, and it was nice to get away. Then we had a barbecue and went to a music/environment festival. There was this AMAZING nest, where it was a bunch of little to medium sized sticks formed into a huge oval suspended by wood and a ladder. Inside the nest there were TONS of pillows. We layed in there for hours. It was super nice. And then these little kids kinda attacked us. I think we might have given sydney a concussion from a pillow fight where nate and i completely ganged up on her. it was funny. haha
Last night i was exhausted so I went to bed at 9:45 (I KNOW! early!) but i didn't sleep at all, and now i have a sore back and a migraine. It sucks.
i'm really nervous and worried about a lot of things. school too. err

I wasn't completely myself today. For the few people who this affected or upset, *im sorry.*